juliet

What does it take to get a call back? Just because it's my first job doesn't mean I don't have plenty of worldly experience.

When are we supposed to find out about this sticky New Orleans relocation situation? I don't plan on going home for the summer anyway, but I need to plan ahead for my father's impending heart attack and everything, you know, because there have already been plenty of "hello children RANT RANT DIASPORA RANT RANT FURIOUS ANGER RANT RANT" e-mails and it does make me think it might be nice to have a permanent place to stay if I wanted to. You never know, maybe we'll be redistricted here again, too, and I like this loft. It has character. It has so much character.

Neither one is home, though. Do you remember what a nice beach is like? I miss those.

( CUT FOR PHOTO. )

Gadzooks, this was not the night to stay home. Who has something else going on?

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie is seeking a guitarist, as our former has taken up alternative residence where they sadly don't allow day trips or visitors. Talented young things as I'm sure you guitarists-without-a-home reading this are, I bet you're thinking the right band doesn't look for me, I look for it. Normally I would admire that kind of self-preservation, but we're great, so you don't need to worry about that part.

What does this mean for you? We're accepting non-traditional auditions in the form of video blogs! Before you sit yourself on a wicker chair in front of your webcam still wearing your grungy pajamas, however, remember that points are given not only for sheer, ground-breaking musical talent, but personal style, composition, and originality. And share with the class! Why shouldn't the rest of Manhattan see you shine before we snatch you up?

Oh, yes, and sing, too.

Consider the start date effective immediately.

Oh, iHolo, I did miss you so! The verdict on jail is in: not an experience worth repeating, but I will make lemonade out of my lemons and treasure it as a rite of passage, along with the black eye and back so sore my posture will never recover. Apparently filming is inappropriate clink behavior, or else this would be a fascinating video blog depicting life on the inside. Alas, that will remain a mystery until policy changes! What a downer, right?

Unless you were there, I suppose. Don't be strangers, we all spent the night together.